Enough is enough!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

By Jody Marich

I recently read an article by Shaun Dreisbach, from Glamour about body image. Since I know a lot of girls with self-esteem and body issues, including myself, I thought it would be a good read. The article shocked me, but made me realize that something needs to change.

The glam squad did a survey with 300 women of all sizes that had to do with the thoughts and feelings that run through a woman's mind each day. The results were shocking:"Young women recorded an average of 13 brutal thoughts about their bodies each day"

Glamour did an experiment to find more alarming news."97% of women will be cruel to their bodies today." The experiment was extended to women across the country: record/ note every negative or anxious thought about your body in the course of one full day. The results came back with 97% having at least one, as Glamour put it, "I hate my body" moment.

 A Cincinnati psychologist, Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., specializing in body image helped Glamour design the survey. "It’s become such an accepted norm to put yourself down that if someone says she likes her body, she’s the odd woman out. I was in a group discussion recently, and when one woman said, ‘I actually feel OK about the way I look,’ another woman scrunched up her face and said, ‘I have never in my whole life heard anyone say that—and I’m not sure I even believe you.’ That’s how pervasive this negative body talk is. It’s actually more acceptable to insult your body than to praise it," said Kearney-Cooke. This quote reminds me of the scene from Mean Girls where they all talk about how they have flaws while Lindsay Lohan says nothing. They look at her like she is crazy.

I don't think people realize how hard we all are on ourselves and the ones we love. I know when I was younger, I was called fat and told to lose weight and now it is always with me. I try not to worry about calories and enjoy what I eat but sometimes that negative body image kicks in. In the Glamour article it notes, "Nearly 63 percent of survey respondents said they had roughly the same number of negative thoughts as they expected. But few realized how venomous those thoughts were until they were down on paper."

"Our unattainable cultural beauty ideals, our celebrity worship—those all play a part," says Kearney-Cooke. I 100% agree with Ms. Kearney-Cooke, the image that is portrayed everywhere is thin, beautiful, clear skin, luscious hair, gorgeous body, etc. Even in other countries there are pressures to look a certain way. Take a look at this post from the blog Dressful. Eva ordered an issue of Vogue India to see what ideals were inside. She was shocked at what she discovered. There were multiple advertisements for skin lightening cream. There is a lot of pressure from magazines and beauty products to have lighter skin because as Eva put it in her post, "They believe dark skin is ugly and light skin guarantees more opportunities in life."

We can't hide from the fact that all countries, generations and ethnicities have pressure and body issues. Everything from "I have too many wrinkles" to " I'm too fat" run through people's minds especially women's'.

This next part saddens me to the point of worrying about kids I don't even have yet. It makes me once again think there has got to be a way to fix this body image issue. "In a University of Central Florida study of three- to six-year-old girls, nearly half were already worried about being fat—and roughly a third said they wanted to change something about their body."--- This tid bit from the Glamour article scares me. I want to have children one day BUT I want them to be happy, healthy and playful not worried about looks at such a young age.
Something has gotta give here. We can't be passing our negative body image issues onto future generations.

So how do we fix this?
The article goes on to talk about, "Silencing your inner mean girl."

CHECK THIS OUT: "It’s worth it for not just the mental peace but your physical health as well. Research at the University of British Columbia, Vancouver, suggests that women who obsess over their body and diet have chronically elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol (even when their life is not otherwise stressed)—and, as a result, may suffer from elevated blood pressure, lower bone density, higher amounts of unhealthy belly fat and even menstrual problems. “And this was among women in their twenties!” exclaims lead researcher Jennifer Bedford, Ph.D. “If you continue on this path, it could have a real impact on heart, bone and reproductive health 10 or 20 years down the road."- Glamour.
So to my friends, and the rest of you that really obsess over looks and weight... STOP. It's only hurting you in the long run. 

Glamour came up with 7 things to turn your negative thoughts around.

1. Rewire you brain: My translation is, instead of listing the "CONS" about your body, list the "PROS!" There has got to be something you like whether it's your eyes, hair, whatever, choose something and go from there. Kearney-Cooke suggests "keeping a pen handy to note things you do that make you feel good about your body... Doing this puts positive stuff front-of-mind and starts becoming instinctive.”

2. Ask yourself: Is this negative feeling really about your body or is there something else causing the bashing. 

3. Exercise: You will physically and emotionally feel better. If you set a goal of lifting a certain weight or running a certain distance and you achieve it, that will boost your self-esteem. Womenshealth.gov says, "Regular exercise has been shown to boost self-esteem, self-image, and energy levels."

4. Say "STOP!": If you have to, yell at yourself to stop the negative body image thoughts. I have done it a couple times and it helps. My boyfriend always corrects me too. If I say something negative, he will make me say "I'm beautiful" three times before we move on.

5. Remind yourself: Fretting over body issues doesn't get you anywhere. I recently heard a saying that I love, "Worry is the misuse of the imagination." So don't worry or obsess about the bad things, use your imagination and do something to create a better self-image.

6. Appreciate your body: Realize all the things it does for you. You can move around, explore, live because of your body. Be thankful you are alive. 

7. Play up your strengths: Don't compare to others. I'm guilty of this but we all have qualities that are better than others. Someone might be "prettier" on the outside, but you could be prettier on the inside. Focus on the good traits you have and be proud of who you are. 

We need to stop being so emotionally abusive to ourselves.  If a significant other was saying such hurtful things, hopefully you wouldn't take it or maybe even get out of the relationship. People need positive reinforcements in their lives to believe in themselves and have a good body image. 

In the end, we all have things we want to work on or fix about ourselves, but don't dwell on it. Just know you are unique and beautiful in your own way. The next time a negative idea pops in you head, say "NO! I am beautiful just the way I am."

Links à la Mode: The IFB Weekly Roundup: Fierce, Fresh and all Fashion

Friday, February 11, 2011




Edited by Ashe Mischief
New York Fashion Week is descending upon us….
We had an amazing assortment of fashion & the business of blogging related submissions this week, but I wanted to get back to what LALM is about. The best of fashion!  From the controversy of Michelle Obama and Lady Gaga to breakthrough videos from brands and the industry, this week I wanted to get back to the heart and diversity of fashion blogging.  I hope you enjoy these posts as much as I do!

FEBRUARY 10, 2010

  • 365 Fashion Rehab: Try before you buy! Beauty samples delivered to your front door and worth every penny.
  • Bubbling with Elegance & Grace: Is First Lady Michelle Obama too old and too large to wear a gorgeous Alexander McQueen red gown?
  • Debutante Clothing: Sandra of Debutante Clothing interviews vintage expert Doris Raymond of The Way We Wore regarding her sale, vintage trends and vintage lingerie.
  • Diversions: Quantum entangled outfit blogging: Tips for outfit bloggers at once behind and in front of the camera.
  • Dramatis Personae: Custom build clothes — and a 20% off discount!
  • Dressful: Vogue India promotes an extremely narrow standard of female beauty – only light skin is beautiful!
  • Fashion Pearls of Wisdom: Looking at celebrity branding from Danni Minogue to Jane Birkin
  • For Those About to Shop: In Praise of Older Women
  • FumikoKawa: Fashion Trend in Japan (February 2011)
  • Independent Fashion Bloggers: Business of Blogging: How Three Successful Bloggers Monetize their Blogs
  • Joanne Faith: Know Your Fabrics! A Guide to Wool, Cotton, Polyester, Viscose and Silk.
  • My Fashion Lust List: 19th Century Fashion Exhibition Report!
  • Notes from a Stylist: Fab accessories website www.runningwithheels.com launches new iPad issue.. a teccie fashionistas dream
  • Obsessive Coolness: You’re a fashionista but you live in Alabama – should you dress down to suit a small-town vibe?
  • Overseeing Fashion: What to wear to the theatre.
  • Soychild: What makes Lady Gaga so appealing and tips to learn from her!
  • Stylish3: The 10 Commandments of Online Shopping
  • Superstylin*: A Common Thread featuring contemporary label Threadware: The fashion industry itself is small and we are all bound by a common thread.
  • Tchaikovsky Darling: The Digital Mini Fashion Film Festival: A round up of the latest short films, campaign videos, and creative video-projects of the fashion industry.
  • Tickle Me Chic: Istanbul Fashion Week runway shows by designers Günseli Türkay and Mehtap Elaidi: Review and photos
  • Your Saving Style: Your Saving Guide to Wearing One Color

Istanbul Fashion Week

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Yesterday was my last day in Turkey and boy was it it ever a great way to end a wonderful trip.

My cousin Cindy's husband was able to get us two invites to Günseli Türkay's runway collection. Just the fact of being at IFW was amazing enough. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face. 

Her show, was incredible. I loved everything about her collection. The music, the hair, makeup and designs were a perfect combination for her "Broken Porcelain" collection. 

Porcelain symbolizes our dependencies coming from the past. By breaking the porcelain Günseli Türkay shows the avant-garde approach to love. When the porcelain is broken, love is set free from the chains, transforms a more creative form and comes back to us again with more joy and surprise.❞ - IFW book. 

These were some of my favorite pieces from the collection.

She used such unique details to tell the story of broken porcelain. Türkay used porcelain pieces in the hair as well as patterns and designs that were modeled after broken pieces. 

Lace was a predominant feature in her collection which created a romantic feeling. Oversized knits, shirts, blouses and silks highlighted her collection. 

 For my first runway show, this was an absolutely incredible experience. The pieces were so thought out and detailed. The hair and makeup blended perfectly with the concept of Broken Porcelain. 

After the show, Cindy and I were in awe. It was so amazing being apart of fashion week. The ambiance alone was enough to make anyone appreciate fashion. We really wanted to go to another one but only had one invite. Cindy made a call to her husband and 10 minutes later we were back in line to get our passes for the next runway show. 

Mehtap Elaidi was next. People poured in to grab seats but this time there was a little surprise. A gift for each seat. We chose the same area because it was a perfect place for pictures. It was far enough away where you could watch the models walk out, admire the piece, and snap some shots as they walk the catwalk. 

This is a video of the beginning of her show. ( Sorry for the movement).

Her collection was based around the idea that social media networks have been so integrated into our lives, "almost to a point of dominance." With this said, she believes that these networks have started to change the concepts of loneliness and crowdedness.

I tried to delve into how these networks work to reconcile the loneliness people feel when in fact, they're used to eliminate this feeling. I tried to convey the idea that while these networks try to create secondary identities within us, it is important to keep on to our primary, original identity.❞ -Mehtap Elaidi

Her pieces were darker, more of an autumn winter feel than Türkay, but overall I liked Türkay's more. I did however, really love the shoes from this collection. 

This pattern below, was a very popular choice of Elaidi's in both black and white and color. In the description of her show she refers to the pattern as trying to show the conflict between loneliness and crowdedness. I think the pattern definitely does that. **It is the same pattern that is used in the beginning of the show. 

Her pieces included different structures of jackets, pants and skirts. Long maxi skirts were a dominant feature along with oversized pieces and patterned leggings.

The whole experience was unforgettable. I was and still am so ecstatic that I had the opportunity and invite into Istanbul Fashion Week. I may not have gotten access into MBFW but IFW is definitely a great place to start. 

I am now back in Germany and will be going to Munich tomorrow. I already miss Turkey and my family so much. It was such a wonderful trip and hopefully I will make it back soon.

For a look at more pictures from IFW: click here. 

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