The image we should be....

I've seen multiple articles recently about controversy surrounding the right way to look. But who in fact decides what that image is? Why is it a constant struggle to live by this image that only a few people can really fit into?

A few weeks ago, it was an article about a woman who sued Prada because she was fired for being "ugly." Since when did it become all about JUST looks? Personality is a very important part of a person. It should in fact, be more important than looks... because looks fade. And to top it off, the single mom lost the lawsuit. Now Prada is countersuing her because "she" slandered the Prada name. Wait a second here, PRADA is suing her for damaging the company's reputation? Because of Prada's horrible decision to sue for $780,000, they as a company have in fact hurt the name even more.

Rina Bovrisse, the former employee of Prada.

I've also been amazed by this whole Abercrombie and Fitch controversy. What was CEO Mike Jeffries thinking? Saying he "doesn't want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people." That his customers should feel like the "cool kids..." The cool kids, really? Jeffries is obviously a bully. Was he never taught, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" He is an example of why so many teens think they aren't cool enough or popular. What about the fact that most people can't afford $30+ for one shirt or $50 to upwards of $100 for a pair of jeans... so not having a certain label makes you uncool? 

This brings me to question, what is the image we need to be to fit in? You don't see many plus size mannequins, or companies that sell larger clothing... and that's just not fair. I've done multiple posts on this issue because it's mind boggling to sit here and think bigger sizes should be treated differently. I know I've struggled with weight just like every other woman out there and it's just not fair to make women feel worse because they can't find clothes to fit their body. It's crazy when I read these posts or articles about the constant, repetitive cycle of body image and what is right or wrong

And yet it's not just woman who are affected. This whole image issue is just a small glimpse into the world of bullying. Mean Girls is a perfect example. They had this idea that skinny is beautiful and if you were anything else other than skinny, with perfect hair, skin, features, you were in the burn book. So what guidelines are people following? and how do we break them down so people can be themselves and not have to worry about what criticism they will get for not looking a certain way or wearing a label? Creating that movie even unintentionally fueled the "image" fire because as much as they made fun of the "Mean Girls" they were also glamorized.

There are millions of women out there who strive to change the way we view beauty, and good for them! The more voices heard the better. Plus-sized blogger Gabi Gregg , who introduced a fabulous new two piece for plus size women and Jes, aka The Militant Baker, who did a photoshoot and wrote a great response to Mr. Jeffries, are just two examples of women stepping out to make a difference. I even read about a stepmother who required her daughter to wear secondhand clothing to teach the 4th grader empathy after she bullied a girl for her clothing.

Photo cred: Liora K Photography and Jes, the Militant Baker

These are all great examples of women who are trying to open our eyes and create a new idea of what we should look like. 

Remember: 

 Everyone has something that makes them beautiful, it just depends on if that person is going to let their beauty shine.

The Thigh Gap: New obsession or continuing worry?

       Last week I read an article on ABC that stuck with me. It was titled Thigh Gap: New Teen Body Obsession?, and it was about a new kind of body image imperfection. But is it really a new obsession? Or is it just getting more notice now that runways are live streaming and social media sites can focus on "thinspiration" more easily.

       I've struggled with my weight all my life. When I was 12 years old I blew up to 160lbs and a size 14 at 5'3''. After being made fun of, being told I was fat by family members, and constantly being told to lose weight, I took it upon myself to get into shape. Within 6 months I was down 30lbs and feeling great, but does the worrying ever really stop?

       Once I hit high school, I struggled even more with my body image. I would eat a cookie a day and maybe a snack but other than that I wouldn't let myself eat. I dropped to a 110lbs (the smallest I'd ever been) and people were then telling me they were worried I was too skinny, my bones popped out everywhere. So not only do you have a constant battle of what's the "perfect weight" but the people around you do too.

       One of my main "problems" has always been my thigh gap or lack there of. Over the years, I've managed to tighten it up but that's the problem.... we are ALL different. Nobody's body is the same. So while I sit here and worry about my love handles, or thigh gap, others might worry about their flabby arms or whatever kind of distraction they have to keep them from feeling beautiful or part of the "in crowd."

       As far as I'm concerned, the thigh gap has been around for a long time, or at least since I was a teen. I'm 25 now, and I still worry about my body image- there's always something to pick apart and the thigh gap is one of my biggest "imperfections." (see I'm doing it right there ;}) But I've also come to realize, I'm happy. I look healthy, I feel good, I have a wonderful fiancé that loves everything about my body, and I have the confidence I didn't have when I was a teen. So as I read that article morning, and watched the interview of 4 teens, I wondered, is it really us as individuals that cause these worries or is it mainstream media like news networks and social media platforms that continue to cause us to pick apart our imperfections?

       According to an article from CNN, social media may do more harm than good. Amanda Coleman, president of her sorority, found herself counseling many of the girls. She began to notice all conversations had to do with Facebook or other social media outlets so she put a stop to it. She quit Facebook. Before social media, images of unattainable beauty were harder to come by, but as social media platforms continue to get bigger, women and girls are staring at the images for longer periods, seeing photos in their newsfeeds. "And, you know, at some level we all knew these were models and celebs, so maybe it was different somehow, more fictional and unattainable," said Coleman.

       So while teens struggle with the "new" obsession, mainstream media needs to cut back on their coverage of the body image obsession. The more people obsess over something, the more it becomes a normal, every day thing to worry about. According to the article, teen psychologist Barbara Greenberg, says statistics show that 80 percent of girls dislike their bodies by the time they are 17 years old. That is an incredibly high number for such young girls.


       We have to do something about the way "beautiful" is perceived. It shouldn't just be about the looks. If someone isn't beautiful on the inside, how can they be beautiful on the outside? Girls need to learn how to love themselves and each other as well as stop cutting each other down. It might make you feel good to begin with but it won't for long and you will have one more imperfection to worry about.

       And while the thigh gap is just one of the unrealistic standard for most out there, girls continue to focus on the size of their body not for the attention of boys, but according to the teens interviewed, "it’s strictly a girl thing, affecting popularity and status."

       What are your thoughts? Is the thigh gap a new fad? Have you struggled with it? How have you overcome your imperfections?

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Bullies of Online Fashion Media

The fashion industry is under constant criticism for the way women are perceived and while most now strive to create better body images, unfortunately, it's sites like Skinny Gossip that continue to create this scrutiny.

Kate Upton got a lot of praise after her Sports Illustrated cover, but she also got some bashing. As the "Rookie of the Year" in 2011, the 19-year-old blond, all-American bombshell, landed the February cover, showing off her curves in a string bikini. The model's figure created quite a stir in the fashion world, but Upton doesn't seem to let it bother her. "I love my curves. You know, I'm healthy and I think that's what Sports Illustrated represents: healthy, confident women who love their bodies," Upton said in an interview.  

Photo from Huffington Post

After reading a tweet from Independent Fashion Bloggers last night, "Bloggers gone bad - Anyone who calls @KateUpton thick, vulgur and pornographic is clearly insane: http://bit.ly/LKoMM0,"  I was beyond curious to see what it was all about. I clicked the link and read the Elle write up. The woman in me was disgusted that anyone could write such hateful, horrible things, but the journalist in me said it's time to start writing.

I've always tried to write about hard-hitting stories in the fashion industry since I went to school for journalism and focused many of my pieces on fashion. It's the industry I love working for but, people need to know the good, the bad and the ugly in any industry. I knew this write up was a perfect example of why girls and women all around the world have such insecurities about their looks let alone themselves as individuals. I've always kept up with the body image issue vs fashion industry because every girl I know, including myself has had self-esteem issues.  

So, I went straight to the source: Skinny Gossip, Kate Upton Is Well-Marbled. The post started off comparing humans to cows and then insinuating that Kate Upton is one... Did you know that humans are 80% genetically identical to cows? Well, allow me to prove it to you…  The blogger goes on to joke about Upton "lumbering up a runway like there’s a buffet at the end of it," and that's just the first couple sentences.....  

Photo from Skinny Gossip

Not only does SG bash Upton's weight, the blogger bully tears Kate down about her style and class saying, "She looks like she would work in the back of a motorcycle shop in Nashville and give (bad) blow jobs for $25."

Photo from Huffington Post

Everyone has the right to their own opinion, but it's people like the blogger of Skinny Gossip and Maura Kelly, who create this constant bullying for others when they know they have at least a national audience. What good does it do to ramble on about how others looks, weight, ect, and bash them? It only shows that YOU, the bully, have deep issues that you need to battle yourself. 

Anytime someone bullies another it's because that person doesn't want to face reality and deal with their inner problems/demons. The writer of Skinny Gossip needs to take a look into what's really causing the attack on Kate Upton. Writing things like, "This girl belongs deep in the gutter of American commercialism – so don’t get any crazy ideas about her being a fashion model, OK?" only shows the world that you have deeper problems than you lead on. 


Two years ago, I wrote a piece about the Maura Kelly rant, a Marie Claire blogger wrote about the show Mike & Molly, attacking the show and people a like. Kelly compared overweight people to alcoholics and heroin addicts but as you read on, she apologizes and opens up about her struggle with anorexia. While it wasn't a valid excuse at all for the down right horrible things she said, it did show she had her own struggles that maybe caused her to not be fully happy with herself. 

There are some people out there that are taking the same steps as the Skinny Gossip blogger, sending SG hate mail and death threats, but what does that do? While yes, SG did something horribly wrong, and should not have shared the hateful rant with the world, I sit here writing this not to bash back but to make people aware of what's going on in the world around them.

So with that said, take a moment and think about what you write, text, post or say. You never know what someone is dealing with, everyone has their own battles to fight. And while celebrities are supposed to have "tough skin" and deal with haters all the time, remember....